"Twin brothers from different mothers," our sales/promo czars Chet and Chuck are proud graduates of the prestigious Ron Popeil School of Marketing, and are simply tireless in their efforts to spread the news of Heavy Artillery's Pre-Packed service to the world. Though Chet's idea of sponsoring the Olympics was somewhat handily beaten out by Visa, we applaud his vision. Ditto for Chuck's morale-boosting "Fondue Tuesdays" for our P.A. drivers. (Memo: Hot sterno and driving just don't mix, Chuck!). Whether it's playing practical jokes on the office staff, tee-peeing each other's condos, or simply washing and waxing their matching red Corvettes, these guys love a good time and it shows!

With a full century of accounting experience between them, Ruth and Rose run the numbers at Heavy Artillery like "an iron fist with lacquered nails." Ruth served as personal accountant to Mr. Ed McMahon during his Tonight Show reign, and Rose was an original cast member of the Ziegfield follies - still sporting the fabulous legs that caused studio mogul David Selznick to chase her across the MGM lot on a weekly basis. (Word of caution - while Ruth and Rose take great pride in their work, they do enjoy a highball or two in the afternoon, so best to call before 4pm if it's a question requiring numerical accuracy.) Thanks, girls. You're the greatest!

"Service with an attitude" is Chief Mechanic Roy's personal motto, but don't let that fool you. Deep beneath that gruff exterior lies an even gruffer interior. Subsisting solely on instant coffee, non-dairy creamer and unfiltered Camels, Roy may not be a health nut, but he's a genius with a socket wrench, and our stellar vehicle service record proves it!

Proud former employee of the D.O.T, Dave (affectionately known as "Road Cone") opted for the safer comforts of the H.A. warehouse after a few too many brushes with immortality (and a tractor-trailer hauling Isuzus!) while working on the interstate expansion project. The state's loss is our gain! Dave's in full command of the road cones, as well as our signature camouflage EZ Up tents, ratchet straps, wardrobe racks, directors chairs, walkies and more. As Dave likes to say, "If I can't find it, you don't need it."

A beloved Heavy Artillery "volunteer," Uncle Ernie officially retired from the Entertainment Business in 1975, after nine distinguished seasons with the Carol Burnett show, but that hasn't stopped him from coming around the warehouse every morning to enthrall us with stories. If you haven't heard the one about Harvey Korman, Vicki Lawrence, and a missing bottle of Aqua Velva, just ask!

A proud Army veteran, Big Walt also spent 20 years defending Warner Brothers' famed Gate 4, where he was known as the "Overlord." Among the luminaries he proudly rejected for lacking proper drive-on credentials were Jack Klugman, Henry Kissinger, Morgan Fairchild, and "that punk from Knight Rider." "I'd kick Desi Arnez's ass out of here if he's not on my list, " he once said. While Big Walt may be a bit overzealous at times, it's all in the name of good security. "Defend your perimeter," is his battle-call, and we can't argue with that. Nice work, Walt!